Will My Mom be There? What Crutch is Holding You Back?!

What crutch do you have that is holding you back?

What pattern do you have that keeps you from making decisions, from moving forward?

 When one of my nephews was a little boy, whenever we asked him if he wanted to do something fun with us, like go see the movie Prancer or something, he would always say, “Maybe I will or maybe I won’t . . . Will my mom be there?”

It was cute, of course, and slightly annoying, too. Time after time, no matter the offer, he always went through the same spiel.  “Maybe I will or maybe I won’t . . . will my mom be there?”

My niece, on the other hand, always shouted out an enthusiastic “Yes! Please” and did a happy dance to every fun opportunity she was offered. 

It’s normal to use mom as a security blanket, and to seek out her approval before agreeing to do something, even when you know the answer is going to be yes. It’s also very normal to feel the joy and excitement of new opportunities.

  These are fairly common patterns when we’re kids. Some of us do a happy dance when we’re offered something new and exciting to do, while others become more fearful and hesitant to say yes to opportunities.

 Sometimes, these patterns from childhood stay with us, both the good and bad ones. The problem arises when we’re adults and we still have tendencies that hold us back, when we still have these crutches, these behavioral patterns.

Sometimes, when we become adults, we transfer this need for approval from mom or dad or teachers or other grownups to other authority figures in our lives, like our boss or sometimes other co-workers or a spouse. 

This pattern can stay with us. Our entire lives we’re looking to give away our power to a higher authority. We’re constantly approval seeking.  

Other people don’t feel comfortable going to new places unless we’re there with someone we know. It keeps us from taking on new challenges or assuming exciting opportunities.

And, oftentimes, we don’t even realize we have these patterns, tendencies, crutches. You just feel off, uncomfortable or powerless. 

  When you have improv-based training, when you think like an improviser, you begin to have personal realizations about yourself. You begin to recognize that the patterns and tendencies you learned earlier in life helped you cope with particular situations, yet they no longer serve you. It’s okay to say goodbye to them now and replace them with patterns and tendencies which fit "The You" of today.

Improv-based training and team building are the ultimate in soft skill development. I know of no other similar programs that spur this sort of personal insight. Each of us has different patterns, tendencies and crutches.

  These self-realizations can be transformative and life changing. It can really put you on the right path to positive change in your life.

After going through improv-based training, I became more self-aware, I was in the present moment more. I learned to view others as golden, and in turn, I could see the humanity in myself, too.

It was what I needed to disrupt these patterns that weren’t serving me any longer.

In improv we look for patterns in people’s behaviors. We also can see patterns in our own behavior. 

We often say, if this is true, what else is true? We’re saying, if this pattern exists here, where else does it, or can it, exist?

I was very much like my nephew when I was a boy. I had older siblings, two parents, and grandparents who literally lived next door, and cousins nearby, too. I was always around people I knew and who knew me. I also was a momma’s boy. I wanted mom and dad’s approval. I felt more comfortable being in places where I was with people I knew really well. 

 I realized that I, too, had the pattern, the tendency, to transfer that crutch for momma, that need for external support, to other people, things or situations.  I realized that I would give away my power to get approval. 

Giving away my power, getting approval from a higher authority, was my crutch, my pattern. It kept me from making decisions. It kept me from taking on new opportunities, from taking a risk creatively.  It kept me from writing, from pursuing other creative endeavors, until I recognized it in myself after going through improv training.

Does it mean that these patterns immediately fall apart? No, it doesn’t. It means I realize I have these tendencies. So, if I feel uncomfortable when a new and exciting opportunity arises, I can recognize it and say to myself, “Why aren’t I doing a happy dance right now?”

What personal crutches, or patterns, do you have that keeps you from moving forward to making decisions in your life?

By pursuing improv-based training, you’ll pick up on your tendencies, your patterns. Who knows what tendencies you will recognize in yourself. Once you do see patterns that don’t serve you, you can make adjustments to them.

You can make changes that can be life transforming.

If nothing else, at least you’ll be able to say to yourself, “why aren’t I starting this project? What is the reason I don’t want to contact this important prospect ? It might be the reason you won’t make that sales call, won’t have that conversation, won’t volunteer your great ideas at meetings.

 Once you think like an improviser, you’ll recognize your crutches, your tendencies, your patterns, or whatever you call them, you can make changes. 

Improv-based training can help you discover areas where you need improvement so you can improve and grow. It’s different for each of us.  Once you think like an improviser, you’ll discover your personal obstacles. Once we recognize and accept them, they begin to dissipate. 

Instead of sheepishly saying: “Maybe I will or maybe I won’t,” when offered an exciting opportunity, you’ll break into your happy dance and shout out, "Yes! Please!”   

 The choice is yours, my friend.

Set up a time to talk about bringing improv-based training and team building to your office. Contact Mike McGuire at [email protected] or go to www.MikeMcGuire.com/contact to set up a call.

I’m Mike McGuire w/ Mike McGuire Speaks. I work w/ organizations that want their people to think on their feet, to work more effectively as a team and to be more confident in every situation