What's not Wrong with Your Life, George Bailey

Is it a Wonderful Life, George Bailey?

 I bet there are lots of great things in your life that you're not appreciating. When we are happy with what we have, no matter how small, we feel better about ourselves. It creates an attitude of abundance, rather than lack.

In this holiday season, many of us have traditions that help us appreciate our lives. For me, I love watching the movie It's a Wonderful Life, Frank Capra’s classic movie starring my favorite actor of that era, Jimmy Stewart. 

Jimmy portrays George Bailey, a dedicated family man with a loving wife, four great kids, a beautiful home, and a great business that served the community. The movie is set in Bedford Falls during the Second World War. 

Every time I watch it; my goal is to get through it without getting emotional. I’m sure I have seen it over 40 times, probably more. I know where in the movie that I will become blubbery; but I can’t help myself. I always tear up.

Like a lot of us, George didn’t always appreciate what he had. He could see the importance and humanity in others but not in himself. He ignored what a Wonderful Life he was living. He made a huge difference in people’s lives, yet he was blind to it. 

George focused on what he didn’t have; what wasn’t “right” in his life. I do this from time to time. Does that sound like you, too, at times?  He was doing great work for the community, but he didn’t appreciate the impact he had on others.

In the movie, George is facing a business crisis that could wipe him out financially and could possibly lead to prison. The affable, yet somewhat incompetent, Uncle Billy accidentally drops $8,000 of the Building & Loan money into the lap of the town’s anti-hero, Mr. Potter. 

Naturally, as a good anti-hero does, Mr. Potter doesn’t tell Uncle Billy of his mistake. He uses it as an opportunity to destroy a competitor. He contacted the bank examiners to investigate the shortfall. George becomes desperate and even briefly contemplates ending his life. 

The movie is sort of a twist on the plot of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. Rather than being visited by three ghosts, George is visited by Clarence Oddbody, Angel Second Class who intervenes in George’s most dire moment. And, rather than showing Mr. Potter, the Scrooge in the story, how his actions affect others, the angel focuses on helping George, who one might compare with Bob Cratchit, in a way. 

Clarence shows George the impact he had had on the lives of others. George served the community. He put them above his own interests.  Maybe for the first time, George clearly sees how fortunate he was.

 Once his family and friends heard about the problems he was facing, they all rallied behind him.    “Strange, isn’t it?,” Clarence says to George. “Each man’s life touches so many other lives. 

Like George, many of us have wonderful gifts that we don’t appreciate. We go through life with a laundry list of how things could be better—rather than how It’s a Wonderful Life right now. I know I’m guilty of this.

To combat this, start the habit of appreciating the small things in your life by asking yourself,” What’s not wrong with your life?” Out loud list your gratitudes, no matter how small.  “I had a tuna fish sandwich for lunch. I talked to a friend I hadn't spoken to in a long time. I went on a hike over the weekend. I made it to my office without hitting any red lights!“ It will help you to look for the good in life, which leads to happiness. By starting the gratitude practice of “what’s not wrong with my life”, you’ll continually look for good things in life.

Many of us default to the “what’s not right” with my life attitude: “Yeah, I got a promotion but the pay increase wasn’t enough. My daughter is great at soccer but there are better players. No division one scholarships for her.  Nearly every light on the way here was green, except for the last two! Stuff like that always happens to me. I got a great lead today, but I should’ve had more.” You program yourself to look for the bad, rather than the good. You look for the “dark lining in the silver cloud.

This practice of “what’s not right” with my life will diminish everything and everyone in your life. Nothing will be enough. It hurts your attitude, your relationships, and your happiness level will be lower than it could be.

Before a presentation recently, I felt grumpy. Every little thing bugged me. “Why am I grumpy,” I thought to myself. To snap myself out of it, I asked someone to repeatedly ask me, "What's not wrong with your life?" My sense of happiness increased. It works every time!

  In my business improv training program, we do this “What’s Not Wrong with your Life” exercise by putting people into pairs. One person asks the other person: “What’s not wrong with your life?” The person responds:

“My son’s cat came to visit.”

Then the person asks again, without commenting, over and over again: “What’s not wrong with your life?”

“I have a car that works.”

“What’s not wrong with your life?”

 “I have a jar of peanut butter at home.”

The gratitudes will pour out and the person’s mood and happiness level will increase. Plus, the person asking “What’s Not Wrong With Your Life?” will learn about that person. Then the pair switches roles. 

I learned this exercise from Patrick Short, owner of ComedySportz in Portland, Oregon. Exercises like this one will help your team grow. Imagine everyone in your company doing this together?! The results will be astounding. 

Happier people are better employees, better team members, and more willing to learn. They also perform better, make more money, and are simply happier overall.  They have better relationships, are better at collaborating and have happier lives.

People may also have personal insights about themselves when they do this exercise. Sometimes we don’t see where we can improve ourselves. Real change doesn’t come by forcing others to change; it comes from us realizing things about ourselves and then taking action to make improvements.

 We have that option every day. Start a gratitude practice. Say it out loud, share it with someone else, or just think about it before bed. The key is to make it a habit. In emergencies, you can ask someone to ask you, "What's not wrong with your life?"

I'd love to talk to you about this program and how it can benefit your team. These exercises are easy for everyone to participate in—no performing, just engaging. Give me a call. No obligation. Let's talk about thinking like an improviser. Remember: It’s a Wonderful Life!