Know your audience before asking for business. Truly understand their motivations, pain points, and goals. You do this by developing your soft sales skills: listening for understanding, being present, reading body language and knowing yourself.

Once you understand your prospect, you can guide them to the right decision. Study them with the same intensity that your kids try to read you to get what they want.

I’m my kids’ chief, prospect, customer and client. They are experts on me. They understand my pain points, motivation, and goals.They both are constantly trying to close me “like a deal”.

They know my motivation is to love them unconditionally and to spend less money on . . . EVERYTHING . . . while still making sure they get everything they need to become successful, independent adults. They know I want value for money. They also know I like to talk about how I earned, or raised, money when I was a kid.

I have two daughters and they both think shopping is a fun activity. Everyone is different, of course, but I think going to the store is a tortuous chore that I never want to do. I have flashbacks of my childhood being dragged through Famous Barr with my mom and my aunt . .   So BOOOOORRRRINGG . . . I wanted to play outside. My mom and aunt wanted to look at clothes. Clothes!?  

Shopping is entertaining and a joy for my daughters. If I fully indulge them, I would be broke. When I’m with them,  I’m in money-spending prevention mode…like a football team that just got the lead at the end of a game. (yeah, I know that approach rarely works in football, either.)

On vacations, for example, I wanted them to go on trips and to learn things about the places we were visiting.  I also wanted to get the best deals possible and still have that great experience. I get the plane tickets from my credit card points… I find hotel deals by scouring the internet. Priceline… kayak… The love boat… whatever… I’m there to minimize expenses. Once we’re on the trip, I am trying to get them into museums and out of gift shops. 

However, myy kids are relentless sales people . . . they’re always going for the close and “No” means nothing to them. No is like candy to them… they love it…a No just means “try a different tactic . . . ask in another way.

Remember, what are my motivations: Love them. Only good value for the money purchases and telling them how I earned money when I was a kid.

They know I’m a reluctant customer. They have so many sales tactics. I just never fall for them.

“Yeah . . . you can go ahead and pretend to be sad,” I would say to them. (wouldn’t it be great if crying and pouting worked with clients. “Stop crying, Mike, ok.. Yes.. yes. You can speak and train my people . . . don’t cry.”

When my kids ask for the order, I tell them what I did to earn the money for the things I wanted when I was young. “Your uncle Jim and I cut lawns, or shoveled driveways…we sold peanut brittle door to door. We worked.” 

Oftentimes, my brother and I literally went out and found money, meaning we dug up soda bottles from trash cans and returned them to the store for the deposit money: 2 cents for a regular soda bottle and 5 cents for a big one.

Of course, back in the earlier part of the 1970s, a Payday candy bar was about 10 cents and a Fudgesickle cost 08 cents.

One Saturday afternoon on vacation, my youngest daughter wanted a banana split. It was close to dinner time and I knew their mom wouldn’t like it if they had a pre-dinner dessert and really didn’t want to spend the money, either, because it would mean buying one for both of them.

“But . . . please daddy…bananas are good for me . . . I don’t want to have to just get an ice cream cone.”

I never gave her that option of getting an ice cream cone; but, I liked it. Yeah, why not?  An ice cream cone is less expensive and still delicious and her mom wouldn’t be AS mad at me for feeding them before dinner. I went in to close the sale. 

“Baby . . . an ice cream cone is just as good as a banana split…I’d be thrilled to get an ice cream cone if I were you . . ..”

“Oh, Ok . . . ” she said reluctantly, seemingly miffed. “I guess we’ll just get ice cream cones then.”

“Ok . . . sweetie. . . ” I said happily

She ran off to tell her sister: “Dad said we can ice cream cones,” she said in a surprisingly happy way. “Dad said we can get ice cream cones!!” 

Booom… my tactics worked . . . Banana splits are expensive.  I prevented the purchase of that! And, my girls are happy.

I’m a sales professional, y’all! I almost feel bad about manipulating them like that . . . but . . . hey, a dad has gotta do what dad has gotta do… am Iright, people or am I right.”

I’m doing my own victory dance . . . dad just saved money. Dad just saved money!

Know your customers, y’all. 

Now my daughters are young ladies and away at college and they’re still relentless in their sales tactics. I’m also better at preventing purchases.

I know they’re coming in for a close when they Call me, instead of Text me. A phone call means they’re about to drop the hammer on me . . . so obvious.

“Hey, daddy…um, like, you know how, like, you want me to learn new things . . . well,  I need a new computer . . . I can learn so much!”

“Um, what . . . no baby . . ..” I just bought you each one last year . . . 

“Dad, my laptop is too heavy to carry to classes to take notes.”

“What?! I bought you the macbook pro light version… When I was a kid, I didn’t get a new spiral notebook in the middle of the school year. If I wanted one of those, I had to collect soda bottles…”

“Dadddy . . . Puhleeze... I need a new computer . . ..I don’t want to have to get a new ipad.”

What's my motivation…limiting expenses and still making her happy and getting her what she needs to become successful.

Wait. I never mentioned an ipad as an option; but, it does make sense, though. It’s not as heavy as a laptop and it has many of the same features as a computer; and, it’s way less money!  I went in to close the sale. 

“No . . . baby . . . Look . . . an ipad is just as good as a computer and it is lighter”

“But, Daddy.. A new computer is way better than an ipad.”

“Baby . . . it’s the same thing.”

Ok Daddy . . .. I’ll get a new ipad then. Thanks, Daddy . . . love you!!!”

She hadn’t disconnected the call yet and I could hear her excitedly saying to her sister. “He said we can get new I pads.. We can get new ipads!”

Boom. Done and Done. I did my own song and dance: “Dad just saved so much money! Dad just saved so much money!”

And they’re happy, too. I don’t even feel bad about manipulating them, either. Of course, I do need to teach them sales techniques someday–but for now, I’m all about preventing purchases, y’all.

Win win, ya’ll.

Know your customers!